Zsa Zsa Gabor
: US (Hungarian-born) actress
I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their
names.
I am a marvellous
housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Husbands are like
fires. They go out when unattended.
I want a man who's kind and understanding. Is that too much
to ask of a millionaire?
How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?
Macho does not prove mucho.
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
TOP
Liam Gallagher
: British singer/songwriter in the band Oasis
I’ve got a fucking
hairy arse.
I suppose I do get sad, but not for long. I just look in
the mirror and go, ‘What a fucking good-looking fuck you are.’ And then I
brighten up.
TOP
Noel Gallagher
: British singer/songwriter in the band Oasis
Sure I love
Liam - but not as much as I love Pot Noodles.
You pick up your guitar, you rip a few people's tunes off,
you swap them around a bit, get your brother in the band, punch his head
in every now and then, and it sells.
Being in a band was all I could do. It was either that or
jut sit around the house eating chocolates all day.
Has God played Knebworth?
In response to “What do Gem and Andy bring to the band?”
Gem brings two packets of crisps and Andy brings a lunchbox and some
sandwiches.
I went to Paul McCartney's
daughter Stella's party and who should open the door but the man himself.
He was dead cool. There were all these questions I wanted to ask him but I
settled on: “Do you watch Brookside?”
If I ever get to go to the moon, I'll probably just stand
on the moon and go: 'Hmmm, yeah, fair enough, gotta go home now.’
TOP
Jerry Garcia
: US lead
guitarist/singer/songwriter with the band Grateful Dead/counterculture
icon
I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill
live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 percent who are
apparently doing quite well for themselves.
TOP
Ava Gardner
: US actress
Referring to Frank Sinatra’s marriage to Mia Farrow:
Hah! I always knew Frank would end up in bed with a boy!
Deep down, I'm pretty superficial.
TOP
Ed Gardner
: US radio/tv
actor/comic
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back
and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
TOP
Janeane Garofalo
: US comedienne/actress
I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The
glass is always half empty. And cracked. nd I just cut my lip on it. And
chipped a tooth.
TOP
Brad Garrett
: US actor/comedian
As Robert Barone in Everybody Loves Raymond:
Paul Gascoigne
: British footballer
See the
OOPS! page.
TOP
Bill
Gates
:
US computer software
businessman/co-founder of Microsoft Corp
There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who
don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like
Microsoft.
TOP
Gareth Gates
: British singer/runner-up in Pop Idol
See this scar on my head? When i was about four I had a
wart there …. it was tiny and I had to have it burnt off. (Pause).
I can't believe i just told you that.
Yeah were going to the club tonight, haven.t been to the
club for a long long time, a long long time woooo boom ching ching boom
ching ching wooo.
There were all these screaming girls, they were trying to
rip my shirt off and grabbing my arse and I was like Don't touch my hair!!
When i was really young, she used to sit me in front of the
washing machine if I cried because I'd just watch it going round and round
and fall asleep! Thanks Mum! That's well tight, ain't it?
TOP
Sarah Michelle Gellar
: US actress
I love good bottles
of wine and saké – I’m not a cheap date.
TOP
Richard Gere
: US actor
On the secret of his enduring popularity:
It's the hairspray.
My name is Richard Gere and I am a lesbian.
TOP
Greg German : US actor
(Richard Fish in Ally McBeal)
When asked which of his girlfriends in the series was
his best snog: A snog's a kiss, isn't it? That's such a
great word. I must try to get snogged while I'm in the UK.
They were all wonderful snogs. My theory is that if they snog you,
it's got to be good. Christina Ricci, Lucy Liu, Dyan Cannon and
Jacqueline Bisset - I wouldn't rate one above the other, for fear I might
suffer some consequence. Kissing is fun. Snogging is a good
time - and it's a great word, too. It sounds like something you'd do
on a farm with an animal.
TOP
Ricky Gervais
: British
comedian/actor
On making The Office: We realised we
didn’t want big incident. Most days in an office don’t start with a
murder. Or someone having to bring a tiger into work because of that
mix-up with the zoo. Most people if they’re sitting in an office bored,
and they hear a car crash out the window they get excited and have a
look.
People don’t seem to bother me. They
either respect my privacy, or they just don’t like me.
Why do you suddenly have to get up at
six? I checked it out. I thought, ‘I’m in charge now … why can’t we
start filming at 9 a.m?’ And they said, “Oh no, it’s technically illegal
to ask a crew to start that late. In fact, it still carries the death
penalty in certain parts of the industry to start the day later than seven
in the morning.” That gets my goat. Having said that, my dad used to hod
carry for 40 years of his life, and I start whingeing about making TV ….
What I love is those people who are more
impresed by someone they’ve seen on Night Fever or Holby City than someone
like Martin Luther King. You know, someone who’s actually done
something. You could point out, “There’s the bloke who’s cured cancer,”
and they’d be, “Yeah, but that’s that Narinder over there from out of Big
Brother.”
On who he wanted to win I’m A
Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here:
Tony Blackburn. Because he’s nice and relatively normal. Just think
about that: they had eight people, one of them was Tony Blackburn and he
was the most normal. What were the chances of that?
When asked if he’d participate in
Celebrity Big Brother:
Not. Under. Any. Circumstances. It’s too much. I get sick of the sihgt
of me, and I think I’m great. The only temptation to do it would be to go
on and annoy people, and then I’d be out after the first day so that would
be a pyrrhic victory, wouldn’t it? My question is: can Narinda do
Celebrity Big Brother now?
As David Brent in
The Office:
If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably
wouldn’t say Einstein, Newton... I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett.
Sessions.
(Gareth: I’m assistant
regional manager).
Assistant to the regional manager.
Me, lager. Finchy, Lager. Gareth, lager sometimes cider, so
different drinks for different...needs.
This is the Accounts Department, the number bods. Do not be
fooled by their job descriptions, they are absolutely mad, all of ‘em.
Especially that one, he’s mental. Not literally of course, that wouldn’t
work.
Well, you’re not looking at the whole pie Jenny.
Wernham-Hogg is one big pie, and if they’ve let me in charge of that one
big pie, then I’ll be in charge of the pie, and the people are the fruit -
(Jennifer: I don’t have time for the pie thing David). Yeah, oh,
well I’ll take the job please.
The thing is though, no-one’s dispensable in my book,
because we’re like one big organism, one big animal. The guys upstairs on
the phones, they’re like the mouth. The guys down here, the hands.
(Jennifer: And what part are you?) Good question. Probably the
humour.
(Jennifer: Well surely it’s gonna be worse for morale
in the long run when there are going to be redundancies and you’ve told
people there won’t be). ...... they won’t
remember.
This is the poem Slough, by Sir John Betjemen, probably
never been here in his life. ‘Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough, it
isn’t fit for humans now.’ Right, I don’t think you solve town planning
problems by dropping bombs all over the place, he’s embarrassed himself
there.
Well, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is that
Neil will be taking over both branches, and some of you will lose your
jobs. Those of you who are kept on will have to relocate to Swindon, if
you wanna stay. I know, gutting. On a more positive note, the good news
is, I’ve been promoted, so .... every cloud. You’re still thinking about
the bad news aren’t you?
Some of you seem to have got off on the wrong foot with me.
You didn't like some of the jokes I told earlier. You've got to chill out,
yeah, trust me, this is what I do, alright? You will never work in a place
like this again. This is brilliant - fact. And you will never have another
boss like me. Someone who's basically a chilled out entertainer.
I've always been in the paper industry. My parents owned a
paper shop. Until it blew away.
So my motto would be: Be careful because there’s always
someone else ready to step into your shoes and do your job better than
you.
TOP
J Paul
Getty :
US Oil Billionaire/Art Collector
If you can count your money,
you don't have a billion dollars.
The meek may inherit the earth -- but not its mineral
rights.
TOP
Barry Gibb
: British singer/songwriter/guitarist with the band The Bee Gees
We're so overground, we're underground.
TOP
Mel Gibson
: US
actor/director/producer
On what women want: After
about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of
that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and
chocolate.
In Lethal Weapon:
As one shepherd said to the other, "Let's get the flock out
of here.”
TOP
Andre Gide
: French critic/essayist/novelist
Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their
way of falling.
TOP
John Gielgud
: British actor
Referring to Ingrid Bergman:
She speaks five languages and can't act in any of them.
TOP
I bought an audio cleaning tape. I'm a big fan
of theirs.
TOP
Terry Gilliam
: US writer/animator/director/member of the Monty Python team
Not a quote as such, but a line he wore on a t-shirt
when he served on the Cannes Film Festival jury in May 2001:
Can Be Bribed.
Referring to the book “Terry Gilliam: el Soñador
Rebelde” by Jordi Costa and Sergi Sánchez: The
book is terrific. It’s an extraordinary achievement … It almost seems as
if I have lived an interesting life.
As the Zulu presenter in
The Meaning of Life:
Hello, good evening and welcome to the middle
of the film.
TOP
Peri Gilpin
: US actress
As Roz Doyle in
Frasier:
So I step out of the shower, and I look out the window, and
I notice the garbage man looking right in at me. So I say, "Did you get a
good look?" and he says, "Not completely, turn around." Then he smiled and
he was missing a tooth, and that's when the romance went right out of it.
For your information, this guy happens to be a very
successful media consultant. He graduated from Princeton, he has a house
on Mercer Island and he owns a forty foot sailboat. (Frasier: You met
him on a bus, didn't you?) No. Actually we shared a cab. All right,
he was driving it.
(Peeking through a keyhole trying to see Maris):
I see her coat on a hat rack. (Frasier: Look closer. Is the hat rack
moving? ) Oh my God!!
It wasn't that Gary was bad in bed. He knew where all the
parts were. Unfortunately, most of them were his. Yes, totally
passionless. It was like he was thinking of someone else. I know I was.
(Frasier: Why is it that whenever we try to have a
serious discussion, we end up talking about your sex life?)
Because I have one.
(Frasier: What do you do when the romance goes out of a
relationship?)
I get dressed and go home.
(Daphne: I must say, I'm so proud of you, Roz, being
nominated in a male-dominated industry. It's one more step forward for
working women. You're a credit to our gender).
Why thank you, Daphne. That reminds me. Do you have a push-up bra I could
borrow?
Everything was going great, until I said "I love you,
Ben"... then he got this look on his face, like he'd taken a wrong turn in
a really bad neighbourhood.
(Niles: Are you quite finished undressing him with your
eyes?) Oh please, I'm already looking for my
stockings and trying to remember where I parked my car.
Wow, it reminds me of college: staying up all night before
a big exam and wishing I'd studied instead.
When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my
beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop
out of college.
There's a cute new handyman in my building. I thought I'd
just go home, slip into my negligee, and rip out my faucet.
I'm a cat person. I mean it's not like I'd ever buy a cat
mug or a cat calendar, or anything, but I had a cat when I was growing up.
We were almost inseparable. Muffles, or Scruffles, something like that.
I'm just sitting here thinking what if my kid gets Rick's
nose, and my ears and eyes? Throw in my grandfather's third nipple, I
might as well pitch a tent and charge admission.
TOP
Jackie Gleason
: US actor/comedian
The second day of a
diet is always easier than the first. By the second you’re off it.
TOP
Jean-Luc Godard
: French film director
All you need for a movie is a gun and a girl.
TOP
Whoopi Goldberg
: US actress
I'm being stalked by my ass - it's gotten bigger since I
hit 45 and there's nothing I can do about it - no amount of exercise will
change it.
TOP
William Goldman
: US novelist/screenwriter
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
TOP
Samuel Goldwyn:
US (Polish-born) film producer
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head
examined.
TOP
Jade Goody
: British reality tv star
See the
OOPS! page.
TOP
Julie Goodyear
: British actress
On a chat show, while pointing to her own
breasts: That’s Newton and that’s Ridley.
As Bet Gilroy in
Coronation Street:
Now, now Alec. If you're going to be catty I shall have to
see about getting you doctored.
TOP
Elliot Gould
: US actor
As Trapper John McIntyre in
M*A*S*H:
... No! No booze! Sex! I want sex! (noticing Hot Lips)
That one! The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes! Bring her to me!
Take her clothes off and bring her to me!
TOP
David Gower
: British cricketer/captain of England
team/broadcaster/commentator/writer
On They Think It’s All
Over:
(Ashia Hansen: Is it that programme on
Channel 5?) They are programmes on Channel 5?!
TOP
Kelsey Grammar
: US comedy actor
As Frasier Crane in
Frasier:
(Roz: On line four, we have Ted, who's feeling a little
bit disconnected).
Go ahead, Ted. (Dial tone) Well, I hope Ted appreciates
irony.
There's an incredible piece of scientific equipment known
as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful
that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the
infinitesimally minute building block of our universe. If I were using
that microscope right now, I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest
in your problem.
... And though washing one's hands 20 to 30 times a day
would be considered obsessive-compulsive, please bear in mind that your
husband is a coroner. Thank you for your call, Janine.
(Brenda: Hi Dr Crane. I'm having a problem with my
sister. She's always - (click) - Oh, wait a minute, that's my other line).
Something tells me I'm going to be siding with Brenda's sister.
And in closing, this goes out to Keith, the narcolectic I
spoke to a bit earlier. I'd be glad to resume when you feel a bit more
alert. But, in the meantime I suggest you reconsider applying for that
traffic control position.
(Roz: I read somewhere that if you have physical
contact on a regular basis, it can actually extend your life).
Well, in that case, you should outlive styrofoam.
Roz, he's probably all of nineteen! (Roz: That's
legal). Well, coo coo ca choo, Mrs Robinson!
(Niles: I thought you liked my Maris!)
I do, I... I like her from a distance. You know, the way
you like the sun. Maris is like the sun. Except without the warmth.
(Niles, referring to Maris: Just remember that she can't
have shellfish... poultry, red meat, staturated fats, nitrates, wheat,
starch, sulfates, MSG or herring. Did I say nuts?)
Oh, I think that's implied.
There's nothing wrong with Maris that
wouldn't be cured by a little sun, some excercise, and a personality.
On Maris:
I remember her struggle to lose that holiday pound.
Referring to his gay boss:
.... I can't understand how he would think
that. We only talked about the theatre and fashion...Oh Dear God!
How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is
what we want.
What's the one thing better than an exquisite meal? An
exquisite meal with one tiny flaw we can pick at all evening.
Seeing Niles's outfit: Say, am I crazy, or
is there a bright golden haze on the medder?
(Lilith: Frasier, I like what you've
done with your apartment. You have some beautiful things).
The settlement is final, Lilith.
(Lilith: Brian is a seismologist at
MIT). Oh, well, that's perfect
- Brian being a seismologist, and you having so many faults.
(Madeline: When I come back, I'll make
you forget you were ever married to Lilith!)
That's never happened before without a prescription!
Shh! What's that? Lilith is making love
in there! (Madeline: I don't hear a thing!) Exactly!
Oh Frederick is fine. Oh he sends his love.
He said to thank you for the toy gun you gave him - at least what he can
remember of it before Lilith smashed it to bits with a croquet mallet.
(Niles: Double latte, full fat,
chocolate shavings). Ah. The
self-pity special.
(Niles: Machiatto.
Make it a double).
Niles! Niles please, whatever's wrong, the answer doesn't lie at the
bottom of an espresso cup.
Did I say decaf? (Waitress: No, you
didn't). Oh, I'm sorry. If I drink the regular stuff it'll keep me
tossing and turning all through my brother's conversation.
(Martin: You develop certain instincts
when you're a cop, and my instinct tells me this case can be cracked.
There just must be one small thing I keep overlooking).
There is. Who the murderer was.
Niles, listen. I've got to do this
commercial in half an hour and I just don't think I can go through with
it, I'm afraid that I'm compromising my integrity as a psychiatrist.
(Niles: Why do you feel like that?) Well, for one thing my co-stars
are dressed up as an almond and a walnut.
TOP
Cary Grant
: US actor
To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent.
She can't wait to disprove it.
I improve on misquotation.
Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary
Grant.
I play myself to perfection.
In Arsenic & Old
Lace:
Insanity runs in my
family, it practically gallops.
TOP
Hugh Grant
: British actor
Some actors start with the inner person, the soul. Some
start building the characters they play by finding the right shoes. I go
for the hair.
I sing like a hyena.
It's a five-story house that we're still fixing up. What
has really happened is Elizabeth has so many clothes, four of the floors
will be devoted to her and her wardrobe. One small attic room will be set
aside for Hugh. I'm becoming such a hermit in my old age I'm just going to
go up there and sit in front of a little gas fire. Five years from now,
people will come to the house to see Elizabeth, and they'll just hear me
shuffling about upstairs and give each other knowing looks. That'll be it.
I'll never come down.
I had one guy at a gas station in New York say to me, "Hey,
you look like Hugh Grant. No offence.”
I had a huge crush on Olga Korbut, the gymnast. The only
other person was Cliff Richard, which is embarrassing - it means that when
I was seven I had bad taste and was presumably gay.
To get my union card in England, in those days, you had to
go through regional theatre. You weren't allowed to do TV or film straight
away. And to get in, I simply flirted with the gayest director I could
find, who was then furious when I turned up for the job and turned out to
be straight. That's why I played such interesting parts that season: tree
in wind, third shouting peasant ....
The moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you will be
f---ed by the weather.
I do frequently fancy the girls I'm working with,
particularly if I have to snog them. There's something so fabulous about
two strangers being made to kiss. I think being on set is a very sexy
atmosphere. Extremely sexy. Even if I don't really fancy the actress, I
always get a stirring. It can be embarrassing.
It's a cliché for actors in light comedy to say it's
underrated, but it is torment. Hard, hard, hard. Knowing where the jokes
are and how to play them never gets recognised - it's always the people
with deep, dark, serious, mentally handicapped performances who win
prizes.
I look at a lot of actors and I think, ‘Yeah, that's pretty
much him’. With the exception of the Gary Oldmans and the Daniel
Day-Lewises, I don't see massive changes in most film actors from part to
part. But I should just point out, in passing, that in About A Boy, from
an English point of view, I was actually doing just a teeny bit of acting
there. Because the character is very North London - not posh. There's
actually an accent I'm doing in that film.
I’ve traditionally liked midgets. And I quite like
deformities. I went out with a hunchback for some time.
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the
Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying
enough attention to women's breasts?
Explaining why he hadn’t managed to make a baby yet:
My father made such a bad job of it. I remember something about men and
women loving each other very much and then giggling something.
I used to stick things up my nostrils...I liked to stick
apple peels. I don't know why I did--yards and yards of apple peel. There
was [an] ear, nose and throat specialist at London Hospital [who] saw me
sort of every three weeks for a period of time...I'd have to have it
removed by tweezers.
I make a big fuss about health. I go to see the doctor a
lot. A hell of a lot, yeah. There was one who asked me to stop coming
after a bit. But I've had very very bad luck with doctors. I had one I
used to go and I used to say: "I have this terrible throat" and he'd go:
"Oh, so have I." He always had what I had except worse. And then I had
one and I'd go and I'd say: "You know, actually I really don't feel very
well, I've got this buzzing in my head and everything" and he'd go: "Mmm,
and any trouble.. downstairs?" He was obsessed with downstairs. Yeah, it's
bad luck with me and doctors.
At the BAFTAs: The nominees
for the best actress in a leading part are... (Clips of the nominees
are shown.) And the winner is... Julia Roberts. Sadly, Julia can't be
here tonight, but she did send me a letter, which she asked me to read
out. It goes: "For God's sake call me, with every day that passes I
miss you more and more. It's just not working out with Benjamin, I need
you big boy." Actually that's a different letter she sent, I'm sorry.
Referring to unfounded rumours that he was being
intimate with Sandra Bullock: Sandy is in love
with me, and I really like Sandy, but for me it’s just a sex thing.
I could do with more mobbing.
John Major made a speech and I said to him afterwards,
“That was very funny, which is strange, because you’re so boring on
television.” He looked pretty angry. Then I said the same thing to his
wife and she looked quite angry too. After that, I went straight home.”
I am, in many ways, the reverse of Richard (Curtis). I'm
full of poison and jealousy. Virtually no milk of human kindness.
One of the triggers for me in About A Boy is that Will has
everything ordered right down to the half-hours of his life. I've done
half-hours. I even put 'make sub-lists'. I have main lists and sub-lists
and worries for the day. So you could have 'wash cups' and then 'decide
what to do with life'.
I make a big fuss about health. I go to see the doctor a
lot. A hell of a lot, yeah. There was one who asked me to stop coming
after a bit. But I've had very very bad luck with doctors. I had one I
used to go and I used to say: 'I have this terrible throat' and he'd go: 'Oh,
so have I.' He always had what I had except worse. And then I had one
and I'd go and I'd say: 'You know, actually I really don't feel very well,
I've got this buzzing in my head and everything,' and he'd go: 'Mmm,
and any trouble... downstairs?' He was obsessed with downstairs. Yeah,
it's bad luck with me and doctors.
Announcing an award at the BAFTAs:
The nominees for the
best actress in a leading part are ... (Clips of the nominees are
shown.) And the winner is ... Julia Roberts. Sadly, Julia can't
be here tonight, but she did send me a letter which she asked me to read
out. It goes: 'For God's sake call me, with every day that passes I miss
you more and more. It's just not working out with Benjamin, I need you big
boy.' Actually that's a different letter she sent, I'm sorry.
I'm the world's worst career planner. It's rather like the
London buses, you wait four hours and the bus never comes, and then twenty
come at once. I suppose that's what I've modelled my career on, the London
bus system.
Ultimately you have to settle down. And I worry that I've
made the wrong choice being unmarried and without a family. Although I
take satisfaction from the hugely prevalent failures of my friends'
marriages. Ninety-five per cent of them have f**ked up now. That is a
great comfort.
As Charles in Four Weddings
And A Funeral:
There's nothing more off-putting at a wedding than a priest
with an enormous erection.
In the words of David Cassidy - in fact, uh, while he was
still with The Partridge Family - uh - I think I love you.
TOP
Peter Graves
: US actor
As Captain Oveur in
Airplane!:
You ever been in a cockpit before? (Joey: No sir, I've
never been up in a plane before). You ever seen a grown man naked?
TOP
Andy Gray
: British footballer/broadcaster
See the
OOPS! page.
TOP
Tamsin Greig : British
actress
I'm very bad at keeping a straight face. And that's my job,
really, to be near very funny men and not laugh, and basically I'm very,
very bad at my job.
As Fran in Black Books:
(Discussing her sorry history with boyfriends)
Or Raymond. Do you remember Raymond? (Bernard: What was his
thing? Didn't he live with his mother?) Yeah. In a
car.
(Bernard, running into his shop: What happened? What
happened?) Oh you were burgled again. (Bernard: Huh? But
there's nothing left to take. What did they get?) As far as I
can make out, they took the security system.
Oh my god. Mickey Rourke
had another facelift. He looks like his trousers.
(Talking about her
failure at playing the piano): Oh it's so unfair. I must be musical.
I've got hundreds of CDs.
Oh Manny, don't. My
head. Josef is coming, he'll squeeze my face again, my brains will come
out my nose and I'll die.
(Bernard: I think
you've got a case. You should get a lawyer). (Manny: Yeah. It's expensive
though. Maybe you could get someone to pretend to be a lawyer). (Bernard:
Yeah, someone who's just a bit like a lawyer. Arrogant. Cruel. Crooked. A
liar. A real bastard. That'll sort them out). (Fran and Manny stare at
Bernard). (Bernard: No I'm not doing it!) Oh go on. And
then when you get a girlfriend, I'll give you a reference. I'll lie for
you. I'll say you were ok.
(Manny [helping
Fran find a job]: Sales manager in a huge department store?) Too
busy. (Manny: Beautician on a cruise liner?) Too boaty.
I keep buying things
to cheer myself up. I go to get a paper and I come back with all this.
(Bernard: Chocolate. Magazines). (F. throws a set of keys onto the
desk) And a Vauxhall Astra.
Hey, hey, hey, right,
if you trace it back, and I might be wrong about this, but I come from a
very good line. Apparently, I am Queen Victoria's ....... uncle.
Melanie Griffths
: US actress
There is a place
you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
In
Working Girl:
I've got a head for business and a body for sin.
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Tony Gubba
: British football commentator
See the
OOPS! page.
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Bob Guccione
: US magazine publisher/founder of Penthouse
If I were asked for a one line answer to the question "What
makes a woman good in bed?" I would say, "A man who is good in bed.”
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Pedro Guerrero
: US baseball player
See the
OOPS! page.
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Christopher Guest
: US actor/writer/director
As Nigel Tufnell in This Is
Spinal Tap:
You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very
much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in
between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of -
(Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?) Well, this piece is called
"Lick My Love Pump."
The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board,
eleven, eleven, eleven and -
(Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to
ten?)
Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see,
most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the
way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar.
Where can you go from there? Where?
(Marty: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten
be the top number and make that a little louder?)
(Pause) ... These go to eleven.
(Marty DiBergi: "This tasteless cover is a good
indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth of
this band cannot even be charted. They are treading water in a sea of
retarded sexuality and bad poetry.") That's
just nitpicking, isn't it?
We've got, you know, armadillos in our trousers. It's
really quite frightening, the size.
‘How much more black could this be?' And the answer is:
'None...none more black’.
You can't really dust for vomit.
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Alec Guinness
: British actor
I don't know what
else I could do but pretend to be an actor.
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Sacha Guitry
: French actor/director/playwright/screenwriter
When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than
to let him keep her.
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Adrienne Gusoff
: US writer
Not only is life a
bitch, but it’s always having puppies.
So many men, so few bullets.
Farting DOES NOT constitute ‘aroma therapy’.
If you're swimming and get tangled in seaweed, sea kelp.
Girls just want to have funds.
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